The #DreamChaser series features inspiring personal stories and lessons I learned as I bravely chase the dream God laid on my heart of being a writer. This article was originally published on God-Sized Dreams.
I had a bad habit in my relationship with God. I insisted on holding back something vital to our communication.
I have never had a hesitation in being honest with Him in my prayers about my struggles, pain, disappointment, praise, awe and worries. But the one area I reserved in a very special place only for me is my dream. My specific dream.
I wouldn’t let Him have it. Not one utterance of one syllable.
I would gladly, and with great hope, reverently give Him my dream in a general sense, such as: “God, if it is Your will, I desire to be in the culinary arts.” But when it came to the specific desire of my heart that I have had since I was 11, I hid it. I hid it deep. As if He couldn’t see it regardless.
I could not work up the courage to lay it all out there, such as: “God, I have a desire to be a cupcake chef and spread the gospel alongside copious amounts of sugar.”
An obvious difference.
(Read: 5 Lessons Broken Dreams Teach Us)
Why wouldn’t I let God have my specific dream? It wasn’t that I believed my dream was not God-honoring; it is. It wasn’t that I believed I am powerful enough to achieve it on my own. Not even close.
I wouldn’t let Him have it because somewhere along the way, I had picked up this fear that my specific dream was inappropriate to include in my prayers to God. I feared it was too prideful. I feared it was too selfish. I feared that if my specific dream was not in His will, then there was really no point in asking at all.
As if I believed God does not think I am worthy of my dreams, that what God wants for me could not possibly overlap with my heart’s desire. As if I believed God relishes the chance to grunt out a dismissive, “Yeah right.”
That may have been a father I heard in my head, but it was not our Heavenly Father.
It’s not the Heavenly Father who heard the dream of Hannah, heard her repeated – specific – petition for a son, and answered.
It’s not the work of the Heavenly Father who, through His Son, heard the specific desire of a distraught father to heal his daughter, and answered.
God wants to hear our specific dreams, because He wants to answer. To ask is to show belief He listens and He answers according to what brings Him glory.
Jesus spoke these words in Matthew 7:9-11:
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
God promises us good things, but first we have to ask, and do so in reverence of Him.
We have to trust Him with anything. We have to seek Him for everything.
To give God all of us includes giving him our specific dreams. Not a generic, hem-haw, kinda-sorta version of our dream. The dream.
To surrender my specific dream to Him is to trust Him with this piece of me I have been treasuring for myself far too long. Even if it means my specific dream will not be His specific answer, I give it to Him anyway.
(Read: Lord, I Can’t Hear You)
I trust He will provide what is best for me. And I trust He so loves me that He delights even more than I do when His will overlaps the desires of my heart.
But first I have to ask.
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