To all my young Christian sisters with an eye toward marriage:
You get a lot of advice about how to decide whom to marry. I won’t pretend to have any expertise in marital counseling, but in my nearly 13 years as a wife, I have learned a valuable lesson I want to share with you.
Oddly enough, this lesson was recently voiced by, of all people, Justin Bieber.
His engagement is inescapable news these days. Without trying to, I found myself reading a recap of his gushing Instagram post to his future bride. One sentence in particular stood out to me:
“I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make.”
Ladies, think what you will about the Biebs, but he captures the key thing I would implore all of you to look for in a future husband.
Marry the man strong enough to lead your family. Continue reading “Marry the man strong enough to lead your family”
A young woman approached an older woman whom she respected and saw living a godly life.
“Would you mentor me?” she asked the older woman.
The older woman replied sheepishly, “I’m honored, but I don’t feel qualified to mentor.”
The response shocked the younger woman. Not because she was turned down but because she couldn’t believe the older woman would view herself like that.
“You have SO MUCH life experience I could draw from!” she wanted to tell her. Respectful of the older woman’s wishes, however, the young woman said her thanks and left it at that.
This scenario plays out countless times in churches. When I ask women why they shy away from becoming a mentor to someone younger, almost always I hear some variation of “I’m not qualified.”
Meanwhile, countless young woman wish for someone older to help guide them. Continue reading “The big lie women believe about becoming a mentor”
Recently I polled my Facebook page followers to see how many believed they would make a good mentor. The majority said no. I wasn’t surprised by this. Not all that long ago, I too felt unqualified to offer much of anything to anyone.
Then I realized what a gigantic lie that is.
I pushed past the negative self-assessment and invited a young woman about 15 years my junior out for coffee. The ministry that has unfolded since has completely changed my perspective.
Fellow “big sisters,” it’s time we realize how HUNGRY young women are for meaningful relationship with us.
Please take careful note of this: Continue reading “What younger women wish older women believed”
Maybe you’ve seen the blog post in your newsfeed by now. A fellow Christian woman by the name of Lori Alexander wrote a piece on her blog titled “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” (Oh boy.)
As you can imagine, the post caused a bit of a stir among us church folk and garnered more than a few impassioned comments from others.
The article caught my attention because Mrs. Alexander is writing about young single Christian women. This is the life stage to which my heart tilts fully.
I lead an interchurch Bible study group for young single women called Two Doors Down. I walk with these lovely young women through the first years of adulthood and help them grow in their faith and life skills. I answer many a question about sex, marriage, motherhood, career, submission and more. It is a joy to serve the young women in 2DD (that’s the text-message version for those keeping score). Continue reading “Young women: Don’t worry about what men prefer; worry about what GOD prefers”
“Ugh, I hate that word.”
My twentysomething friend’s nose wrinkled at the mention of the word “Millennial,” as if it reeked of dog breath and gym socks.
“Why don’t you like it?” I asked.
“Because it’s so negative — and it’s not ME. I am none of those things.”
“Those things” include the stereotypical traits of a Millennial: Continue reading “‘Don’t call me a Millennial’: How to stop stereotyping young people”