The Current State of My Life

I’m writing to you from a cluttered desk and with a cluttered mind. I’m writing to you not as a writer but as a woman whose plans are being rerouted one by one, and she is like a GPS chanting “recalculating” while the car just keeps driving forward in the direction she didn’t plan.

Ever have that feeling?

The world keeps spinning and you would like it to stop or at least slow down because the dizziness is getting worse?

I had a plan for this summer. For writing, for work, for child rearing, for home tending, for discipling. And every blessed one of them has been rerouted. Continue reading “The Current State of My Life”

What I want my daughters to remember about me pursuing my dream

About a month ago, my family helped me convert the playroom into a writing office.

My first-ever writing office. My first-ever claim to a physical territory representing the creative one I had long been staking out.

For so many years, I was afraid to make this claim, to bravely plant a flag in the physical sphere and say, “This is my space.”

Self-doubt, fear of failure, fear of selfish ambition held me back from making this claim.

(Read: Is My Dream Selfish Ambition?)

I felt I didn’t deserve to have a writing office. Continue reading “What I want my daughters to remember about me pursuing my dream”

Does what I do even matter to anyone?

 

Babylon Bee, my favoritist tongue-in-cheek news site, shared an article on their Facebook page earlier this week that especially tickled me. The title: “Pastor Labors All Weekend On Church Blog Post Approximately Four People Will End Up Reading.”

Did you laugh?

So did I. I laughed because it is TRUE.

I saw myself in the pastor’s shoes. My goodness, I feel exactly this way every single week. I could have coffee daily with this emotion we are so tight.

I pour time, energy – and, yes, money – into this blog. I care DEEPLY about it. But, inevitably, as the words tumble onto the screen each week, the question poking at my emotional core is, “Does this even matter?” Continue reading “Does what I do even matter to anyone?”

The Advantage of Rejection

You’re “not the right fit.” I think the first time I heard those words was from my boycrush in junior high. I had just slipped him a note. It was humiliating. Of course, I heard it a few more times from a few more boys since, as well as from more than a few potential employers (apparently I did not have what it took to be a Subway “sandwich artist”).

Last week I got one of the toughest rejections of my life. From a publisher.

For those who don’t know, I have several journalism, poetry and nonfiction credits, including a Lou Gehrig biography, but I have yet to break into my true love of fiction. From the time I was 12 I’ve wanted to be a novelist. After years of stop-start and immeasurable encouragement from others, I finally completed a manuscript and found a publisher interested in looking at it. Continue reading “The Advantage of Rejection”