I had no idea what I was saying when I said, ‘I do’

 

To my godly husband:

 

I have to be honest…

All those years ago, I had no idea what I was saying when I said, “I do.”

I had no idea the enormous commitment contained in those two small words.

I had no concept of the depth enduring love requires, costs and compels.

As a young woman entering into married life, I could not have possibly understood the vast difference between bride and wife. One required only my “yes.” The other requires my entire self.

When I said, “I do,” at our wedding, I had no clue what it meant to truly live for and with another. I did not yet understand that I was promising to die to self a little more each day so that something greater could shine forth.

I had no inkling of the loss that was possible, or the indescribable gain. I had no concept of the sacrifice involved in marriage – or how joyful that sacrifice would ultimately be.

I had no idea the level of trust involved in “I do.” Continue reading “I had no idea what I was saying when I said, ‘I do’”

Marry the man strong enough to lead your family

(Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash)

 

To all my young Christian sisters with an eye toward marriage:

You get a lot of advice about how to decide whom to marry. I won’t pretend to have any expertise in marital counseling, but in my nearly 13 years as a wife, I have learned a valuable lesson I want to share with you.

Oddly enough, this lesson was recently voiced by, of all people, Justin Bieber.

His engagement is inescapable news these days. Without trying to, I found myself reading a recap of his gushing Instagram post to his future bride. One sentence in particular stood out to me:

“I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make.”

Ladies, think what you will about the Biebs, but he captures the key thing I would implore all of you to look for in a future husband.

Marry the man strong enough to lead your family. Continue reading “Marry the man strong enough to lead your family”

I am a submissive wife and I breathe fire

 

“Breathe fire” burst into our vernacular recently with one mom’s viral Facebook post. She raged about the fate of Josh Duggar’s “submissive” wife after news broke about his infidelity. The phrase quickly set off a hashtag firestorm on social media and became a rallying cry of sorts for women to know their worth and know they offer something uniquely powerful to this world that no one should squelch – and that something is not a womb.

I like the phrase. I like the imagery and clout behind it. It describes so aptly how I want my daughters to view themselves.

By God’s grace, it was how I was raised. I was raised to believe I could and should go as far as I wanted in my academic career, which was all the way through college, which I primarily paid for. I graduated magna cum laude, landed a book contract at age 25, and at 30 had an office, a staff and a title.

Fire, ya’ll. Continue reading “I am a submissive wife and I breathe fire”

A prayer for my husband

 

Lord, look upon this man with favor. With eyes filled with as much love as mine are — more so!

This world presses in hard on our men. It tries to convince them to be more of all the wrong things. It tells them they are less of all the right things.

I pray he does not believe this world. Not one minute of any hour.

Lord, call to him above the din. Speak over the mess. Right to his heart. Into his mind. Straight through his being. So that he will not mistake your voice for that of any other.

Command his way. Counsel his choices. Continue reading “A prayer for my husband”