Where pain and thankfulness meet

Periodically thankfulness is resurrected, dusted off and hashtagged. At Thanksgiving, we traditionally share our list of thanks at a table full of food, elbow-to-elbow with family. On social media, we sometimes take up “challenges” from friends to post a week’s worth of things we are thankful for.

These are great.

Yet…

My thankfulness seems hollow. Continue reading “Where pain and thankfulness meet”

Lord, I can’t hear you

 

Sometimes God is abundantly clear which way He wants us to go. Other times, He is not so clear. I’m in the latter right now. The near future is uncertain for me. One of many paths lay before me, and I am unsure which is the right one.

If you are in that place too, I hope this prayer helps you as you continue to seek God’s will.

***

Lord, I can’t hear You.

I am asking You: Where do I go from here? Which way do I turn? I am standing at this fork in the road and everything is blank. I cannot tell which path is Yours. My feet are trembling. My mind is spinning.

My ears clamor to hear a voice behind me saying “This is the way, walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21). Lord, do I turn right or left? Do I boldly go through the middle of this, or do I quietly go around?

I am straining to hear You. To find Your voice over all the others. I am desperate to hear it. Continue reading “Lord, I can’t hear you”

Does what I do even matter to anyone?

 

Babylon Bee, my favoritist tongue-in-cheek news site, shared an article on their Facebook page earlier this week that especially tickled me. The title: “Pastor Labors All Weekend On Church Blog Post Approximately Four People Will End Up Reading.”

Did you laugh?

So did I. I laughed because it is TRUE.

I saw myself in the pastor’s shoes. My goodness, I feel exactly this way every single week. I could have coffee daily with this emotion we are so tight.

I pour time, energy – and, yes, money – into this blog. I care DEEPLY about it. But, inevitably, as the words tumble onto the screen each week, the question poking at my emotional core is, “Does this even matter?” Continue reading “Does what I do even matter to anyone?”

The Advantage of Rejection

You’re “not the right fit.” I think the first time I heard those words was from my boycrush in junior high. I had just slipped him a note. It was humiliating. Of course, I heard it a few more times from a few more boys since, as well as from more than a few potential employers (apparently I did not have what it took to be a Subway “sandwich artist”).

Last week I got one of the toughest rejections of my life. From a publisher.

For those who don’t know, I have several journalism, poetry and nonfiction credits, including a Lou Gehrig biography, but I have yet to break into my true love of fiction. From the time I was 12 I’ve wanted to be a novelist. After years of stop-start and immeasurable encouragement from others, I finally completed a manuscript and found a publisher interested in looking at it. Continue reading “The Advantage of Rejection”